loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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