Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
