well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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