$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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