M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Dick very happy bro
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
