It's just like the Real World with babies
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Randomize
