I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
