Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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