i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize