I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
