its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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