I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
