none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
