i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
and you fell through a lawn chair
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
