I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
