Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
