So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i think i have two assholes
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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