i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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