I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
cat food counts as protein by the way
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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