i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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