Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Randomize
