M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
