I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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