she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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