One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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