i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
