You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
