How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
