love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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