i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
