absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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