5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
