party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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