Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
