I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize