So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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