She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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