there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
