Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
