let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize