no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
