Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
