This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize