I puked a lego.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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