whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
