Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
