Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Tornado booty call.. dedication
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
