I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
