I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
