Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she told me i tasted like america
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
