we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
