There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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