I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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