My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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