Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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