I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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