Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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