hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
