I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
