I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
