I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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