My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
