so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
