i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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