I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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