some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
