So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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