No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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