someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
