I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize