i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
