no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize