Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
