Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
