I can feel you judging me through the phone.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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