It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
