Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
