This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
