direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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