Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
